how could i possibly have another mouth to feed?

There was a point in my life when a cute baby would bring me to my knees. My insides would gnaw up and my heart would swell up and my biological clock would start ticking so loudly I could swear people could hear it.

And then I had my third baby and whenever I passed a cute baby, I'd force myself to remember childbirth sans drugs (powerful) or the hugeness of pregnancy (lovely?) or the sleepless nights of life with a new infant (but that new infant...).

And then my sister-in-law got pregnant with her third baby and something odd happened. I felt jealous for a bit, the way I've felt more often than not upon seeing a pregnant woman. And then I felt truly happy for her. Her huge belly is just gorgeous (even though right now she swears she'll be pregnant forever), the whole family is excited about having a new little one around, and now... Now I'm so ridiculously excited about this new baby arriving in less than a week. And I'm truly grateful that she and my brother are getting the chance to enjoy three kids. And I'm also truly grateful that my kids are over the baby hump. At least mostly.

So where's the catch?

Well, today on my run around the lake, I saw this puppy. She (or he?) was fluffy and playful and cute and well, my heart filled... Of course! A puppy!

And then I took Tali to the drugstore to pick up some stuff (drugs, of course) and there was a pet adoption mobile across the street. T didn't even need to drag me the way she usually does when the pet mobile is there. We looked in the kennels and cooed at the cats and kittens. But inside the mobile was an 8-week old schnauzer puppy (or rather, a sneezer puppy, as Tali called it). And this sneezer was fluffy and brown and white...

"She's looking for a good home," the volunteer told us.

"Oh, really?" I asked. "She's looking to be adopted?" I felt swoony.
The woman looked at me like I was an idiot. Then Tali looked at me like I was an idiot.

"My brother is allergic to dogs," Tali told the volunteer who immediately hmmmphed and then turned our sneezer away from us to another pair of cooey onlookers.


"Maybe I'll call the allergist," I said to Tali, as we drove away. "You never know, right?" It's something the kids have been begging me to do for almost a year.

"Really? You will?" She asked excitedly, jumping up and down in her booster.

So I called right then and there. (Yes, Dad... I was using my headset and not holding my phone and driving. :) And though I couldn't get him in for an appointment until May, it's probably for the best.

I need some time to get my head on straighter...