somebody left her trike outside...

wordless wednesday

why there is pride in choking it...

Juliet came to my twitty rescue when I tweeted about neglecting my blog and I couldn't be more thrilled and grateful. She's a wonderful and thoughtful writer and you should definitely be checking out her blogs: The 40 Year Old Bat Mitzvah Self & Thanksgiving Feast.

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Our seven year old, Eva, choked at her violin recital. I could not have been happier.

Eva is one of those people for whom things come easily. She knows all the spelling words before the teacher hands out the list. She memorized times tables without having to use flashcards.

Along came violin. It has rocked her world.

Violin is hard. There’s no two ways about it. I don’t think I fully appreciated how technically difficult an instrument it is before Eva began lessons. There are no “cheats” in violin. Her teacher embraces nerdy violin humor, Star Wars quotes, and a no-shortcuts approach.

In short, violin challenges Eva daily. It pushes her into what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes as the optimum autotelic experience: the golden flow zone where the levels of both challenge and skill are high.

When you challenge yourself, you are bound to fall down some of the time.

As I stood in the corner of Library Room B, videotaping Eva playing one of the eleventy seven versions of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star that Suzuki children learn, my heart sunk a little for her as she stumbled, tried to recover, stumbled again, then stopped.

“Whatever you do, just keep on going.” It’s the golden rule of all performances and recitals. Nothing is worse than that embarrassed, awkward silence: the throats clearing, the programs rustling, while the child’s cheeks grow redder and hotter.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity but in reality was only a few seconds, Eva signaled to the accompanist and played the last few notes.

She was as poised as a disappointed seven year old could be, and she’ll be even more poised next time it happens. There will be a next time because her teacher, in his infinite wisdom, sets a high bar. I hire him to do it because as her parent, I don’t always have the heart to watch her fail, even when I know she learns way more from recovering from mistakes than she does from cruising along on autopilot.

It took her a month to finally feel ready to watch the video to analyze what she did wrong. And there were a few tears as we ate our celebratory frozen yogurts that afternoon. But I think she really believed us when we told her we could not have been more proud.

Got a super successful, bright child? I recommend setting high standards in a safe environment, and letting her choke now and then. It’s the ultimate growth experience.

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Juliet also tweets at @batmitzvahat40.

can you tell we're in need of a little vitamin d over here?

wordless wednesday

neti pots and oms... you're probably thinking i'm going all new age on you

Now that's I've successfully caught my 20 billionth cold of the year, I finally took the advice of a good friend and purchased a Neti pot.

For those of you not in nasal health know, a neti pot is a vessel designed to irrigate your nasal passage. Basically, you pour warm salt water up one nostril while you hold your head sideways and keep doing it until the liquid flows out the lower nostril. Then you repeat on the other side. It's supposed to totally clean you out. And apparently (as it says on the neti pot box) it's an ancient yogi practice that helps cleanse your energy channels and balances the right and left hemispheres (of what? yourself?) to "create radiant, energetic health and wellness."

All of that sounds good to me because I was really thinking I'd just pop a few Sudafed and cover up the symptoms until they went away. But you know, a natural yogic way to get better seemed like a good thing. And you know how good I am about my yogic Oms...

So I went to the supermarket natural healthcare section (because this is Seattle, afterall...), and I picked myself out a neti. I'm thinking what sold me was this picture:

I mean, if you can smile while spouting water through your nostrils, it must be a pretty good product. She looks happy and relaxed. She looks like her nose isn't totally stuffed up.

And being that I'm all about the aesthetics of things (some call that superficial, but I'd beg to differ), I was pleased to see that my neti pot was sort of cute, too. The white ceramic design matches my dishes, though that did make me worry that someone might accidentally mistake it for a creamer.

Unfortunately, B was pretty quick to point out the phallic nature of its look and design, and um, it sort of seemed a little less like a good idea to stick that up my nose.

Nevertheless, I'm about to go on a cross-country ski trip on Friday that involves hiking four miles up to a cabin in the snow with a three year old tethered to my waist in a pulk. This means that:

1.) If I'm willing to do that, I may be crazy enough to stick a phallic shaped teapot up my nose.

and/or

2.) If I'm willing to do that, I'd better try anything to get as healthy as possible by Friday.

Luckily, next to the natural healthcare section there is a very UNnatural healthcare section, which is where I picked up some Halls cough drops and that familiar and comforting red and white box of Sudafed.

I don't think I'm quite ready for the Neti. And I really could use a new creamer...

my shattered attention span and why i fake my oms...

Recently I was having a discussion with a colleague about how audiences now ingest media so much differently than they did when we were kids (we used to have to walk six miles in the snow in order to get to the Macintosh with dial-up...). We talked about the obvious differences, including form factor due to technology advances, but the most drastic difference seemed to be in the ability or need we have to multi-digest so many different inputs at the same time.

We used to complain when the person holding the remote while watching television flipped through the channels endlessly, unable to commit to one show. And with so many channels available on cable, it really was hard to stay satisfiedwhen who knew what possibilities were awaiting on the mulititude of other channels.

But now, with multiple windows, TiVO, TV programming online, as well as a number of other options, you don't need to flip through channels. You can have everything at once.

Because there is so much to see, it's hard to know where to direct attention to. Our attention spans aren't just short, they're shattered into tiny multi-dimensions. Which is where the problem starts...






How many windows are open on your computer right now? At any given time, I have about the 15-25 open on my machine.


There is a mess of Sticky Notes on my desktop that pop up at me when I logon. I can't make dinner without doing at least one or two other things, and the same goes with talking on the phone. And driving? Well, it's even hard to just drive these days. Even with a hands-free device, I find myself constantly tempted to check mail on my phone while stuck in traffic, eat breakfast, lunch or dinner , depending on the time of day, and catch the news on NPR. And obviously, this is also where we have heavy talks with our kids or overhear what's going on in their lives.

A basic requirement of most jobs is to be able to juggle multiple deadlines, of which I always have multiples of, along with multiple email threads, meetings, projects and stakeholders. There are times when I have so much going on in a single moment that sometimes I find myself switching back and forth until I remember to stop and do one thing at a time.

Then there is the whole work/life balance thing and managing multiple schedules, activities, and responsibilities for a family of five. Granted, I'm not doing a perfect job, but everyone goes to bed at night clean, alive and fed. (Managing expectations is a also good thing.)

Meanwhile, kids and adults in record numbers are being diagnosed with attention deficit disorders. Is it a coincidence when we're trying to stuff as much as humanely possible into a single minute? There could be any number of causes. I'm not blaming the epidemic on technology, but it does make you think for a second about what could happen if we slowed down a bit.

I've begun going to yoga again and as a result, have begun to understand that concentrating on being in the present is extremely and painfully difficult for me. During the class, I struggle with trying not to do more than one thing at a time, or cycling through my massive to-do list. And it takes all my will to be mature enough to get through the chanting of the Oms without giggling. Especially when some of the yogis in class start harmonizing their chants.


But every once in a while, after I am able to actually concentrate on the moment, I find that
the results are exponentially beneficial. I feel focused and even more productive. And it feels good enough that I've begun trying to incorporate that practice at different moments in the day. And this actually takes some effort. Especially when you consider that this post has taken me a week to write because even in the last hour, I've been interrupted numerous times to explain why forks don't feel good up your nose. (Seriously, I just work here...)


After working so hard to speed up, it's even harder to slow down. And how amazing that the longer term perspective and a single focus is even more productive. Maybe I'll even get to a point where I'll be able to not fake an Om.


Or maybe not.

another way my kids amuse themselves in the car (besides talking about the birds & bees) and why i love the PhotoFunia app...

wordless wednesday...

overheard from the backseat: more birds & bees...

Tali: Hey Daddy, I got an inappropriate question for you.

Boaz: Um, Okay...

T: I get how you and Mommy made Samuel.

B: You do? Wait. You do?

T: Yes, and I get how you made me because Samuel was still little. But when did you guys make Naomi without us knowing about it?

B: Um, well...

T: Ohhhhhh, I get it! THAT'S why we go to school!

some things just should not have to be explained...

wordless wednesday

we'll miss you, fred z...

I'm back in the air, flying down to Los Angeles to see my family and say goodbye to my Uncle Fred, who died last week. It was only a year ago that I flew down to say goodbye to my Aunt Liz. Though this time, the news was totally unexpected and it just doesn't feel right to keep having these family reunions for funerals. It feels a little empty knowing he won't be there with his constant smile and snarky remarks, and I wonder if this is just how it is as you get older and see how family dynamics and shape changes and evolves.

Last night I was trying to come up with some memories and I was talking with the kids about Fred. I told them the exciting stuff--how he worked in Hollywood on special effects and that as a kid, it was a thrill to see his name on the credits of movies I loved. That he'd worked with movie stars and had signed photos of them in his house. But mostly my memories aren't all that exciting to turn into stories for the kids. How do you explain the comforting humor in knowing that after a big holiday meal, Uncle Fred would sprawl out on the living room floor and take a nap? Or that it was inevitable at every family seder at his house, he'd hide the afikomen behind the huge Mickey Mouse clock? I remember his hugs were so strong they hurt and that his relationship with my dad, his brother, was one that I admired.

And then the bright side of seeing family unexpectedly.

Already I've connected with all five of my siblings and two of my cousins and I'm still in air. (BTW, I am totally loving the GoGo Inflight Internet Access). I saw some Hawaiian floral and fauna (Does a squishy niece count as fauna? I'm saying yes.) talking to my brother Dan in Kauai, and a coupla tan little nephews. And then loaded up my Google camera for a chat with David. Ahhh, the Interwebs are so cool. And they've absolutely helped me deal with the incessant and nauseating babytalk and macking the couple next to me has been practicing throughout this whole flight.

We've come a long way from Uncle Fred's cool Pachinko machine we played non-stop at his house. Somehow things don't feel all that different, though...

We'll miss you Uncle Fred...

the ashkenazy collective tomorrow @ egan's jam house in ballard...

If you don't have plans tomorrow night, you should definitely head out to Egan's Jam House in Ballard @7pm to see The Ashkenazy Collective, the New York-based band to see.* Along with their own original compositions, they also play jazz standards and folk music from around the world, including Yiddish melodies and themes from Spain, Israel, Mexico and China. It should be a good time.

Oh, and bring your kids. We are...



*They're also bunking at our house, so we're pretty objective here.

retro-noem and fun with the iPhone Polarize app...

wordless wednesday

in memory of the wheat allergy...

Okay, so remember Tali's wheat allergy?
You know, the one that cured her chronic stomach aches? The one that forced her to happily eat bread made out of tapioca and macaroni and cheese made from rice noodles? The one that made grocery shopping a sort of scavenger hunt type experience where I had to carefully read labels and get all creative about new dinner recipes? Remember how we've had sushi for dinner at least six times in the last three weeks because besides nachos, it's the only meal that all of us will eat (and it's slightly less of a heart killer than said nachos).

Oh, and remember how it was all worth it because Tali's chronic stomach aches finally ended? She went weeks without mentioning belly aches at school and everyone, including her, felt relieved because we'd solved the problem.

And remember how the only bad part of the whole diagnosis was the EXTREME parental guilt because for this whole time I'd thought it was all in her head--that it was emotional--and that we had to teach her how to deal with her feelings. But in the end, it turned out it was an allergy and I had to feel like a totally neglectful parent for not. even. noticing. that. it. could. be. an. ALLLERGY????

Well, that was then and um, this is now.
Apparently, she's sort of over being celiac.

I took Tali to the doctor's last week to talk to her about nutrition and getting tested for celiac. But the funny ha ha thing is that when you don't eat wheat for a month, you can't get tested for celiac because you don't have it in your system! Yeah... Smart mom, huh?

Doctor M. asks Tali about her symptoms and nodded when Tali said definitively, "I feel so much better. It must be the wheat." And I nodded proudly, knowing that we'd solved all of our daughter's problems.

"Well, sometimes you can get over a wheat allergy," Dr. M. tells us.
"Really?" I ask. "That'd be nice. That tapioca bread is awful."
"Maybe you should start testing out little bits of wheat..." she says, giving me a funny look.
"Wow, really?" I ask. "It's barely been a month."

But when Tali runs out to the bathroom, the doctor says to me, "Give the girl some wheat and don't tell her you're doing it. I'm not sure by her symptoms that's what's going on."

I nod and say okay, but inside I'm thinking, "Nope, no way, uh uh. You are WRONG, Dr. M."

The next morning, I sleep late and when I wake up, Boaz is making pancakes for the kids. They smell delicious and look pretty normal.

"Look at these wheat-free pancakes Daddy made me," Tali says proudly. I taste one and it's really good. And really not wheat-free.

"Her stomach ache is yours today, Buddy," I whisper to him.

But the thing is, she never gets that stomach ache. That night he gives her noodles and tells her it's okay to eat them. Again, no problem. And then yesterday she eats a burrito.

"Is the flour tortilla bad for me?" She asks. And then before I can tell her that it's probably okay, she says confidently "I'm just going to eat it. I need to start working wheat back into my diet."

She ate wheat all day today. And when I came home from work, I asked her how she felt and
she said fine. "My wheat vacation did it for me," she said proudly. And then she went to bed without a stomach ache. "Dr. M. is really smart."

Huh. Okay... So that's it? I'm bracing for what's coming next.

In the meantime, I've got a whole arsenal of wheat-free goodies. Anyone want some donuts made from tapioca?

sorry, facebook... i'm a twit now.

Dear FB,

It's happened. I've found someone else.

It took awhile, I'll admit. For a long time I withstood the pressure to fall madly in love with Twitter. I did set up an account a long while back, but after a few quiet chirpy little tweets, I decided that I did not need another addiction (really?). I held the position that Twitter basically mimicked the worst part of Facebook--constant mindless updates that I'm not saying I don't participate in, but I didn't really need another outlet to promote my evening status trifecta of weather, drink, and exercise. And I sounded just like my parents. I don't get that Twitter thingymabob.

I couldn't hold out for long, though.
I tried again using TweetDeck and the heavens parted and I totally understood.

Twitter is not a stunted Facebook. I'm not looking for anyone on there (because I've basically already found everyone I've ever known on FB) and I don't feel social obligations to friend people and keep them as friends even when I'm not really interested in their status updates. (I feel comfortable saying that because the people I'm referring to would not be reading this.) And while there is some networking going on, it's mostly about transferring information. I've found the coolest sites and people on Twitter. Where else can I follow @davidlynch, @aplusk, @jesus_m_christ and @princessmikkimo on the same feed? Plus, through retweeting, I've found amazing resources for social and digital marketing sites. And don't even get me started about the marketing opportunities being tapped into for businesses... You don't just have to be a "Fan"--you can view the personality behind a company and get notified of deals and offers.

And the best thing is that my social media short attention span is placated with short, clever tweets that just say what they need to say. No more wasted hours.

I'm sorry that I rarely come around anymore, Facebook. It's true, I still enjoy Bejewelled and Farmville (Damn you, Farmville, for tempting me with your inane and pinhead simple click-farming. But you played on my competitive spirit and I couldn't let my 9 year old beat me without a fight.). But Facebook, I'm just finding that I need my social media to be smarter. And you're so in my face all the time. Plus, I feel like you take advantage of me sometimes. You do not need to go into my privacy settings all the time and then "accidentally" sign me up for things like "Fan of K-Y Jelly" that nobody comments on because um, they really don't quite know what to say.

I'd say that it wasn't you, it was me, but that's actually not true. It's really you.
I'll come by and check that my crops don't wither, and play the odd game of Bejewelled, but I can't waste time on you anymore.

I'm through,
Amy

fave sites of 2009...

Okay, I know 2010 has been around for about a month now, but I'm a little behind. And so now a little late, my fave sites of 2009:

10. Mashable -- It's not news that this a great social media information site. Still, it's one of my faves so it's on the list. So there.

9. Gilt Groupe -- I am admitting to you all that I do have snobby tastes, but this site is so fun because often the cutest things offered fit my budget! Seriously you guys, I got an Orla Kiely bag for $49 and that makes me almost able to forgive them for the foofy 'e' at the end of their name! Oh, and if you sign up, tell them I sent you with this link (http://www.giltfuse.com/invite/amyash) so that I get the referral bonus and then can buy more bags. Super fast shipping, too, so it's almost instant gratification, which is the best kind.

8. Tweetdeck -- All my social networking and information lists in one spot. Handy!

7. Chemobabe -- My incredibly lovely and totally geeky birthday twin, Lani, launched this site a couple of months ago and she's totally inspirational and incredible, besides being an amazing writer, mathematical genius and mother of three. Also, the site is keeping her from launching any more Facebook Gift Apps. (Though, she's now the Mayor of everything on FourSquare)

6. Cake Wrecks -- The utter stupidity combined with snarkiness never fails to crack me up. Hee hee...

5. Mayo Clinic -- Okay, I know this one looks weird on this site, but hey... I am a mom. I also am a bit of a control freak and so I find this site useful when I'm getting my facts right for a doctor's visit. Also, they have a great symptom checker tool but if you're a total hypochondriac, I suggest you maintain some serious distance from it. But they also have cool pictures, like this one of your small intestine.

4. Laughing Squid -- It's random. Enough said.

3. Unhappy Hipsters -- It's sort of the Cake Wrecks of Modern Architecture. Photography shots. Think Dwell spreads with a bitchy narrator. It's nice to see that not everyone takes hipsterism so seriously...

2. Kidelity -- This beta site is a financial management system for you and your kids to manage their allowances. It basically works as an online banking system for the Bank of Mom/Dad, but it does help you and your kids keep track of what they may actually be doing to earn allowance, helps them learn the power of saving, and ends the argument about how many weeks in a row you've forgotten to give them their allowance.

1. Etsy -- Again, most of you know about Etsy, but seriously, if I was to plan on wasting a lot of time online (as opposed to not planning on it), Etsy is a place I'd waste some valuable time. Besides being a cool site where you can find beautiful and original handmade gifts, home decor, jewelry, clothing, etc., it makes you want to go out and make stuff. Or maybe it makes you just buy their stuff and say you made it. Either way, super cool site.

small frye... this is when you know her momma is dressing her...

wordless wednesday

1,000 cranes for josh...

Sometimes when someone you love is going through a hard time, it's hard to know what to do to help cheer them up.

But over the last three weeks, many of Josh's friends and family came out to fold origami cranes to fulfill the Japanese tradition of giving him 1,000 cranes to make a wish on.

It was an amazing experience to meet all of these people connected to our friend Josh and to see them all come out for the same reason--to send him our love and good wishes.

Plus, it was fun to see who had the skills and who were very good at fold origami turkeys. (I'm in the turkey club.)

Thank you to everyone who came out and folded, and also to those of you who mailed in and dropped off cranes. The result was spectacular and I think Josh really appreciated them.

what's to eat without wheat?

So, if you know Tali, you know that she frequently suffers from stomach aches. This has been going on for years now and though we've been to the doctor a number of times, nothing ever comes up in her tests.

So for awhile now, we've attributed it to nerves.
Which frankly seems a bit like a cop-out. It's true, she doesn't like loud places with lots of people (oh wait, can you say school?) and she is a total slave to schedule, which is something I'm um not that much a slave to. Nor is her dad.

Last summer the poor kid carried around a plastic bag, even to Disneyland, for fear of throwing up. And though she only did once (and I'm 99.9% certain that was carsickness), I think she actually likes to drive her brother crazy by embarrassing him with the bag. And also, it does make a mighty nice windsock when you're riding a bike.

But this has been going on forever. I'd thought that if it were a transitional thing, we'd be transitioned by now. We've tried giving up lactose and dairy, and that helped a bit.

But now we're giving up wheat.
Which is a problem. Because that is sort of what kids eat.
Tali is up for it because the pain is real enough. But she doesn't like meat and well, she loves her some carbs.

Anybody have some experience in with the wheat free world out there? Recipes? Web sites? Insights?

When I announced last night that we were going to try this, Tali nodded and then laughed.

"Oh great. Now Mommy is going to have to learn to cook again. Maybe we should just keep going out for sushi."

Sigh... So much confidence. (Help? Anyone?)

kitchen music

wordless wednesday

I'm here... Really...

I know I have a bad track record of disappearing from my blog every once in a while. And okay, I've never really been good at maintaining an everyday posting kind of thing even though I'd like to. But you know that you've let things slide when you're advertisers send you messages that say "We miss you!"

And the funny thing is that usually when I'm super busy, I am at my happiest, but somehow I'm so full of things to do that um, some things aren't getting done. Sorry, blog.

So while I get my act together and finish up this campaign I'm working on for my day job (the one that actually pays me), check out the Suncadia article I wrote for the Examiner and see how happy my children were to visit there.

best wishes for 2010...

wordless wednesday!